Episode 13: “Can screen time be good?”

Elizabeth Romanski (00:02):
You're listening to Raising Curious Learners, a podcast from Britannica for Parents, where we talk to experts, and discuss issues and trends in child development, education and parenting.

Elizabeth Romanski (00:32):
Welcome back to Raising Curious Learners. I'm Elizabeth Romanski and my cohost, as always, is Ann Gadzikowski. From Myspace to Snapchat, to TikToK and Tumblr, technology has transformed the way we relate to one another and changed the way parents and kids interact. This year, as many schools move online, parents are faced with new challenges and hurdles, as they try to navigate this new digital landscape. Our guest today is an expert in making the online world more approachable for parents, and helping them to gain a better understanding of the role technology plays in their children's lives.

Elizabeth Romanski (01:11):
We're only a few months into the 2020/2021 school year. And it's already been such a rollercoaster for families. Often, the hardest part of remote and hybrid learning for families is figuring out the technology.

Ann Gadzikowski (01:24):
You know, I was just talking to some parents and their children are learning remotely and they're having to do standardized testing at home. And the parents are having to figure out how to configure the devices.

Elizabeth Romanski (01:37):
Oh wow.

Ann Gadzikowski (01:38):
They were given these very complicated instructions on how to configure the iPads or the Chromebooks. And the parents are just pulling out their hair, they cannot figure out how to do it.

Elizabeth Romanski (01:47):
Oh my goodness. I can't even imagine. And you know, we are asking so much of our parents and caregivers who are navigating a whole new digital world with their children. And so that's why I'm so very happy to have our guest today, Diana Graber, she is an educator, parent, writer, researcher, and advocate. She also founded a website called Cyberwise and she is the author of "Raising Humans in a Digital World." So I'm so happy to welcome Diana to our podcast. Thank you so much. Hi, Diana!

Diana Graber (02:17):
Hi! Thanks for having me.

Ann Gadzikowski (02:19):
We're so glad to talk to you today. Um, and there's so much to talk about.

Diana Graber (02:23):
Oh yeah.

Ann Gadzikowski (02:24):
Why don't we start with Cyberwise, that's such a helpful website. Can you tell us what it is and how you got started with Cyberwise?

Diana Graber (02:32):
Yeah. So gosh, about 11 years ago, my own children were approaching middle school and, um, I have a background in film and media, and I went back to school and got a master's in something called Media, Psychology, and Social Change. And while there, I became really interested in how media affects children, especially as the world was changing and kids were using more social media, et cetera. So I came out of that program, really fired up about what I had learned. And another student and I started Cyberwise, which is a portal and a resource site for parents where we could basically share all the stuff we learned. So our tagline is "No grownup left behind." So that's where parents go to not get left behind in this digital world. And so since then, it's really evolved into a lot of different things. I'm sure that I'll tell you about in the course of this pocast.

Elizabeth Romanski (03:16):
Yeah. I think that's such a clever tagline because, you know, the realm of technology and media and digital media is changing so quickly that it's hard for parents to, to keep up, especially this year.

Diana Graber (03:29):
Yeah. And I mean, our site in itself has changed so much over the years. There has been so many issues and topics to add to and address and update. It's a fascinating world.

Elizabeth Romanski (03:38):
Oh, I'm sure.

Ann Gadzikowski (03:39):
So tell us some of the things that parents are curious about or things that they're afraid of.

Diana Graber (03:44):
Well, I would say right now during the pandemic, the big topic everybody's talking about is screen time. Because kids are already were spending so much time with their screens, and now that school has gone largely online and they're sequestered from their friends, so the only way to connect is via their screens. Kids are spending more times on screens than ever, as you mentioned in our introduction. You know, parents are having to help them with their screens, which is adding to a lot of stress. So that really is the big topic of our day. And when you're talking about that topic, everything else falls under that umbrella. You know, reputation management, cyber bullying, sexting, all that stuff.

Ann Gadzikowski (04:16):
Wow. That's a lot of scary stuff.

Diana Graber (04:18):
Yeah, it's, it is, you know, it's scary, but it's also in some way, that's empowering because for children who can use their screens in a productive and smart and ethical and safe way, there's a lot of opportunities there. And I, and I always tell families: imagine a pandemic with no screens. I mean, our kids would not be getting education. They would not be able to stay in touch with family and friends. So we have to turn that around and try to capitalize on the positive and mitigate the negative.

Elizabeth Romanski (04:43):
Have you, have you had any research where it's shown how children are using media and technology? Because I feel like, maybe this year it's changed a little bit? Because to your point, it can be very empowering if they use it in the right ways, and because technology was so exciting and new a couple of years ago, I feel like maybe it wasn't necessarily at that point yet, but now I wonder if you've seen anything in research that indicates yes, children are starting to become a little bit more savvy and understand how to use it to empower themselves and to learn.

Diana Graber (05:14):
Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up. Because one of the ways we look at technology use is, are you just consuming it? Are you just mindlessly wasting time? Are you creating things? Are you participating? And that's when it becomes super powerful. And you know, you mentioned the research and unfortunately the research shows that a lot of kids don't know how to use it productively yet, which is really crazy to me because they should. So I'm hoping that one of the upsides of this pandemic is that because kids are having to do their schoolwork online, they're becoming more participants and creators in media and not just mindless consumers. So that's something that we're all having to help children with these days. And hopefully that will change things.

Elizabeth Romanski (05:50):
Well, and, and that actually brings me to another question that kind of would be for both you and Ann as educators, with an educating background. So I remember when I was in school, it was very important to have lessons about how to properly use the internet and how to, you know, use internet to empower how we learn about our projects and, you know, fill in all of the things. But because technology now is so ingrained, are those classes even still happening? I mean, I wonder and how, how is that a part of their everyday?

Diana Graber (06:21):
Well, that's one of the big reasons we started Cyber Civics 10 years ago. That's our in-school program that teaches digital literacy to middle school students. It is so needed. It's crazy that not every school automatically offers this because digital literacy is today's literacy. And so we developed a program that is for sixth, seventh and eighth graders that teaches everything from digital citizenship to information literacy, to media literacy. And you know, now, especially with kids at home, they need these skills to be able to do their schoolwork appropriately. Because as you mentioned earlier, it's really hard for parents to help them. So kids really need to learn these skills for themselves.

Ann Gadzikowski (06:55):
Yeah. What I'm hearing from teachers due to remote learning is that they're having to spend time teaching students how to use the tools, but that that's really valuable time spent.

Diana Graber (07:08):
Yeah.

Ann Gadzikowski (07:08):
So even just taking time to make sure everyone knows how to mute themselves on Zoom, and everyone knows how to raise their hand on Zoom and just going through and having each person do that once and turning it into a game. Those are really important skills, and when we're back in the classroom, we'll have already done all that and we'll know all that. The students will be much more comfortable with the tools that they're using.

Diana Graber (07:30):
Exactly. It's funny because I actually hear a lot of students are having to teach their teachers how to use the tools!

Elizabeth Romanski (07:37):
I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure there is that. But I do think it's an interesting, um, experience this year, because the way kids are used to technology is very, very different because I think that they, they see it as an exciting way to communicate with their friends, to be on social, to do all of this, like gaming and such, but then now, it's blended so much more with school and how to properly use it for their schoolwork. And so I think this is a really important conversation to have, and I actually would like you to explain what you mean by digital citizenship. Because I I've heard of it, but I don't think I fully understand. And I'm wondering if a lot of parents, because now they're having to put that educator hat on. If they fully understand what it, what it means to make sure that their kids are a digital citizen. So what is that?

Diana Graber (08:21):
So digital citizenship is the safe and responsible use of digital tools. And the way to think of it is, um, today we're citizens, not only of our physical world, but of a vast virtual world of people that we may never meet or see. So it's really important for children to learn how to be good citizens in both of these worlds. And when we teach digital citizenship through Cyber Civics, we cover citizenship, ethical thinking online, cyber bullying, digital drama, online privacy, your digital reputation, and a lot more.

Ann Gadzikowski (08:49):
Wow.

Diana Graber (08:50):
So it's comprehensive.

Elizabeth Romanski (08:50):
Yeah.

Diana Graber (08:50):
It's funny to me because a lot of schools will say, "Hey, we had a digital citizenship expert came in and we had an assembly, so we're good." And I just think that's so ridiculous because it is a huge, gigantic topic with pieces that fit together like a puzzle. And it's something you really need some time to really have kids comprehend it and to use the skills.

Elizabeth Romanski (09:09):
I think what's also very interesting is when you said "digital reputation", because that's something that I think kids forget. And I remember too again, when, when it started to become more-- like, when Facebook first started being a thing, it wasn't talked about until a little bit after. So I'm like, oh, well, what about all of these things that people are excited about trying to use the tool for? And now they have to consider their reputation on it. And with kids these days, I mean, I can't even count the number of social channels that are out there and what they can leave in terms of footprints outside of, like, your social app. So I think that's a really valuable piece that you teach is how to make sure that you leave a strong digital reputation.

Diana Graber (09:48):
Yeah. It's such an important thing because as you mentioned, kids are so excited to use all this stuff and they still don't stop to think about maybe something inappropriate that they're out there sharing or that somebody else takes a screenshot of and shares elsewhere. So we do a lot of activities in the classroom to help them think through that and really fun ways that are super memorable. And, um, you know, even on Zoom, that's what kids are figuring out. Like sometimes they'll do something inappropriate in a Zoom classroom. Somebody will take a screenshot and share it elsewhere so that can even impact their digital reputation. So I think it's a lesson that every kid should have before their school even use Zoom to deliver lessons, you know? Super important.

Ann Gadzikowski (10:24):
What about the parents who are so overwhelmed by all these different tools and all these different options, and they think, "I'll never be able to figure this out. My kid, you know, is motivated because they're excited and they want to use these tools with their friends." But the parents are overwhelmed. So what kind of advice do you have for them?

Diana Graber (10:41):
Well, a couple things. I mean, number one, kids are really savvy using the tools, but they don't have, up here, in the brain yet fully developed. So what kids need most from their parents is their lived wisdom. How to be a good person in this world, whether it's online or off. So it's helped parents to remember that you're never going to be better at your kid at pushing all the buttons for all the social networks and games that are out there, but you're always going to be smarter, and you're always going to have more wisdom and that's really what they need. And then number two is be curious! If there's something you don't know, ask your child to show you, you know, what is it they're so-- looking at on TikToK, like what's so exciting about it? You know, what, what are they sharing on Snapchat? Come to your kids from a place of curiosity, rather than a place of judgment. Nine times out of 10, they'll want to teach you or show you something. And that's super important today is to open that door and to be aware of that whole other world that they're living in that largely we're not a part of.

Elizabeth Romanski (11:29):
I think you also are smart when you say judgment because, you know, I think it's a natural thing for parents and just, um, when you're older and you're seeing all of these changes in the world and all these changes digitally that you kind of like, well, what's the point of TikTok? Or like, why is my kid wasting all this time? When you have to remember that there is a certain aspect of the digital world that is here to stay and growing. And so I'm wondering like how can parents be more involved? And like you said, not kind of pass judgment, but take it from a point of curiosity. Like, are there certain questions that they should ask, should they have like a check-in with their kids to see what they're using or what they're doing? Or what, what are some tips?

Diana Graber (12:08):
I always advise parents. I mean, number one, be aware that nearly every social network requires kids to be at least 13 years of age to join them. That's super important. Kids don't really have ethical, critical thinking skills, fully baked until that age. So when they turn 13 and it's time to join whatever, do it together with them. Say, "Hey, you're going to download TikTok? I'm going to download it! Before we do that, let's take a look at the privacy policy and the user agreement." Which sounds really boring, but I do it with kids in the classroom and they kind of get into it cause they're like, "Oh, Holy cow, I had no idea they were going to do this!" You know, and kind of understand what they're asking of you before you agree to join. That's super important. And then when you join, like do things together, have them show you how to use it, talk about it. there's a lot of things on there pretending to the world today. Um, good and bad. You know, there's a lot of stuff out there about coronavirus and the election and all that. So it's important to know what your kids are looking at and have those discussions. There's a lot of misinformation on there too. So it's a good time to talk about what that is. What is fake news? Where does it come from? How do you recognize if something is true or false? All of that is happening on the kids' networks as well. So there's a lot of things to talk about, but really start from that place where let's sign up together, let's look at the agreements. Is it worth it? That's a super important place to start.

Ann Gadzikowski (13:21):
Oh, that's such good advice. How many of us do stop and read all the fine print when we sign up for something?

Elizabeth Romanski (13:26):
Right. And I think it's also just a reminder for parents to check in and see what your kids are interested in. Because I think part of this is the kids are so empowered, but they also have such an ease of just downloading what is the latest thing. And because, like, they can do it on their own devices. And so I think it is important for parents to kind of remember that, you know, it is important to look at this privacy policy together. And I find it interesting that the kids get into it. Cause I can imagine them just being like, "I want this thing. I don't want to read all this boring, like jargon. I don't know what it means, so..."

Diana Graber (13:58):
Yeah. Well, you know, this is a lesson that we do in Cyber Civics. And uh, the way we do is we teach them what the jargon means first. And then in little groups, they have to go find the words and see what they're asking of them. And you have to think about where adolescents are. They don't like to be controlled or told what to do. And when they discover that their apps that are kind of controlling them in a way, and they discover this in the, in the policy saying-- like, for example, they read Snapchat's policy a couple of years ago and they didn't like the fact that Snapchat claims everything disappears, but then when you read the fine print, actually the stuff doesn't disappear and they're like, "Wait, that's not right!" So kids love to find adult mistakes.

Elizabeth Romanski (14:34):
Ha! That's true!

Diana Graber (14:35):
And like, they jump all over it. So it's super empowering to them. And so many times I've done this lesson and I've had kids go, "You know, it's just not worth it. I don't like what they're asking. I'm not going to use it." And I know that sounds like I'm making that up, but it really does happen. You know, empowers kids to make their own decisions as far as their personal privacy and what they're willing to give away in exchange for what we think is free.

Elizabeth Romanski (14:55):
Yeah. And I'm sure the kids too that go through this, this lesson and still decide to download that, I'm sure that there is that in the back of their mind, as they put out content, you know, "Do I like, do I still feel comfortable with this?" And I'm sure they adjust, whereas maybe if they didn't read it, they would, they would assume their Snapchats do disappear. So I have this free, safe place to just do whatever because it disappears!

Diana Graber (15:18):
Right. And in the context of our curriculum, you know, they learn that after they've learned about their digital reputation, after they learned about cyber bullying. So they know like all the, the reasons why it's important to, what to look for when they join these apps and how to deal with these issues that might come up.

Elizabeth Romanski (15:36):
Okay. So it's time for a quick break, but don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

Elizabeth Romanski (16:04):
What we've been talking about so far has really painted a positive light on how you can use technology and you know, the digital world as a positive learning tool. But there are known downsides to having so much time on the screen, and screen time is a real concern as you said, for parents. And this year, there really is an impossible way to balance because everything, both personal and then now school, is on a screen. And so how do you, how do you still encourage parents to work with their kids to balance their screen time? Like this year I just feel like it's so complicated.

Diana Graber (16:39):
First of all, I think this is the year where parents need to cut themselves a little slack.

Ann Gadzikowski (16:43):
Mhm.

Diana Graber (16:43):
Because it's going to be really hard to keep to our previous screen time guidelines, if we had them. It's almost impossible. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't give up entirely. So a good place to start is for parents to have an agreement with each child and this helps because kids need boundaries, even when it comes to screen time, and they'll appreciate it because it will help them have balance in their life. So one thing we offer on the Cyberwise website is a technology agreement, and you can customize it depending on your child's age or stage, and just come to common agreements on how much time for school, how much time for entertainment, when to turn it off, when to turn on-- all those things. And it will make your life so much simpler because you won't have a battle every day. You can go back to the agreements that we agreed to this, and here are the consequences of either of us don't stick to the agreement. And I think that will really ease a lot of tension that we're having in families right now around screen time. I know working with kids in the classroom -- well, online, on Zoom classroom, is they're frustrated. They're sick of looking at screens! So they need a little help maintaining balance in their life right now, just as we all do.

Elizabeth Romanski (17:42):
Yeah. I, I also, I worry about just like the eye strain, and like exhaustion that kids are probably, not even sure necessarily that it's related to screens cause it's such a new, and they're so young, but it is a real thing that, you know, parents kind of want to make sure that they also check in is how are your eyes?

Diana Graber (17:58):
Oh, I know it's horrible. I, you know, again, I teach kids via Zoom and I feel so sorry for them. I mean, they're just slouched and they look sad, just my heart breaks, you know? It's a tough world right now.

Ann Gadzikowski (18:11):
But having a comfortable place to sit, that's really important!

Diana Graber (18:15):
Yeah!

Ann Gadzikowski (18:15):
We were talking before we started recording this podcast about how I'm sitting on the floor right now! My back is starting to hurt so I can really relate to this!

Diana Graber (18:24):
Yeah! And imagine children and they have to do school work at the same time. It's tough, you know, and a lot of them have their families, you know, doing what they need to do in the background. You know, it's crazy time.

Elizabeth Romanski (18:34):
I do want to go back a little bit and look back more at the parents. Because you know, kids have had a lot of experience digitally, and parents may not have. For parents who are now having to be both parent and educator, are there any tools or tips for parents who may be very confused about the digital world in terms of remote learning? I know one of the examples you said was let them kind of teach the parents how to use certain tools, but even just the idea of, you know, getting them set up and like how to even go to the right places. Like I'm just trying to think of parents now having to really expand their own personal knowledge. And that it's probably exhausting for that too.

Diana Graber (19:15):
Yeah, you know what, there's a lot of free tools out there right now to help parents, and we actually gathered a bunch on the Cyberwise website. Um, if they go to the website at the top, they'll see our "COVID resources". And we add to that every day. For example, we just put up some really great guides, like they're downloadable PDFs that Google is offering, on how to use Google classroom. We put a whole bunch of guides on there on how to use Zoom. But, um, it's a really great resource site for parents for any digital help they might need. I mean, everyone's really pitching in and trying to make it easier for parents. So basically we curated all of that stuff for them.

Elizabeth Romanski (19:48):
I think that's really important. What about resources for parents who, maybe, English isn't their first language? And so now they're having to, to really learn something entirely new, like, are there resources for them that you're aware of?

Diana Graber (20:01):
There are, and we do have, um, at the top of the Cyberwise, we have a thing, "Español". We have some resources in Spanish, so they're welcome to help themselves to those as well. I wish we had more, honestly, um, it's a super important market that needs to be served as well. So I may try to look for some when we hang up and put them in the COVID center because I think that that's super important, but we do have some on there already.

Elizabeth Romanski (20:22):
I think that that's a really good resource for parents because I think that, again, like, a lot of parents who might not be very familiar with Google classroom, because that was never something that they had to learn or worry about, and they only ever had to hear about with their kid's day, and now they're in charge of, you know, being kind of the troubleshooter.

Diana Graber (20:40):
Yeah it's tough.

Ann Gadzikowski (20:40):
Why don't we talk a little bit about imagining the world after the COVID pandemic is over? I think so much of our use of technology now is shaped out of necessity. So let's imagine a world where these digital tools are used more for, for entertainment and for creating. You know, you mentioned at the beginning of this interview about how the best digital tools for kids are ones where they're actively creating things rather than passive. How does that begin? Imagine a parent who's, who has a really young child right now and they're, they have, you know, a long, long road ahead of raising their child. What advice would you give for them, or even specific tools or apps that you might recommend where their children can be really creative and, and be those digital creators?

Diana Graber (21:27):
So that's a great question, but I'm going to address it in two parts. Number one, the post COVID world, and my dream, I, my vision for the post COVID world is, you know, the parents that were prior to COVID really averse to screens are going to discover through all this horrible mess, that screens are actually kind of awesome because our kids are learning and they're connecting on them. And then on the other end of the spectrum, the kids who were like on their screens all the time are discovering that the world away from screens, they really miss it and they miss face-to-face connection. And I'm hoping that we're going to meet somewhere in the middle that's, that's what I'm hoping for next year.

Elizabeth Romanski (22:01):
Mm.

Diana Graber (22:01):
So that's the first part of your question. The second part of your question is with your really young kids, it's a great time to introduce screens in ways that are developmentally appropriate. So I call those, in my book, I call those digital on-ramps and I actually spent a lot of time addressing that. But just in a, in a nutshell, what I say is there's things you can do at every age and stage. For example, the American Academy of Pediatrics say kids 18 months and younger should have no screens except for one kind of screen: what we're doing right now -- Well, you and I are doing right now -- which is face-to-face communication via Skype or FaceTime or something like that. And when you're doing that with grandma or whoever, put your child on a lap and explain to them what you're doing and let them participate, that's a great use of technology. Then, as they get a little bit older, explore interests together, let's say they have an interest in bugs, you know? Go online, Google bugs, find a video about bugs and watch it together and talk about it afterwards. And then you can do that every age and stage together with your child, discover these things, do them together, talk about them. But that co-viewing, co-use is really what's recommended by all the experts. And it's a way to ease your child at every age and stage. So they're using technology productively because you're showing them how.

Ann Gadzikowski (23:06):
Another example of what we're doing right now that's so relevant to this conversation is this is a podcast, and so it's an audio tool, and I'm hearing so much more about interest in podcasts and audio books for children.

Diana Graber (23:20):
Yeah!

Ann Gadzikowski (23:20):
Do you see that too? Is that a, is that a trend as a way to get away from screens?

Diana Graber (23:24):
Yeah, I see that a lot with kids that are finally getting outside, they're listening to podcasts. Gor all of us podcasts are having sort of a resurgence it's like radio was just invented or something! So, you're right. That's a really big thing right now.

Ann Gadzikowski (23:36):
And I wonder if the popularity of smart speakers also has a, has an impact on that.

Diana Graber (23:41):
Probably. Yeah, I think so. And I think just giving the eyes a rest. I mean kids, like all of us are so sick of looking at screens all day. So this is an alternative, so. Great use of technology.

Elizabeth Romanski (23:51):
Yeah. I think it is very important to reiterate that when done right, technology has a lot of strong benefits and it can be used a lot for learning. And when you were sharing the example of the bugs, um, I was thinking about how, especially now, and especially as we head into winter, when, you know, there is more of a need to kind of hunker down and stay indoors that you can still use technology to foster your children's interest in certain things. So I know, especially too, a lot of museums are having virtual tours of their works, but I think it's important to, to think about, you know, the times where maybe you can't go outside or see a bug, or maybe you live in a place that doesn't have, you know, parrots! That if your kid is somehow interested in parrots, because they learned about it from a book, you can use the internet to find audios of the parrot sounds, videos of the parrots. Like there's so many different ways.

Diana Graber (24:45):
I know, It's pretty exciting. Yeah. I mean, there's, that's the thing it's, you know, when parents worry about technology, they worry that their children are wasting their time. And that's why I really encourage parents to ask their kids what they're doing, because sometimes they may be pleasantly surprised that their kids are actually doing things that are sort of interesting and educational, or they might discover that they're not. And in that case, it's a good time to help your kids maybe redirect their time or their interest.

Ann Gadzikowski (25:08):
Do you see any trends moving forward in terms of more active or social engagement using technology like virtual reality, augmented reality, anything on the horizon that you think will be really important to families?

Diana Graber (25:20):
Well, I think, um, all of that's been coming for a while and it's super important for kids to understand what it is because there's pluses and minuses about that. So we actually addressed that in the very last unit of Cyber Civics, like what's coming. What is artificial intelligence? What is augmented reality? Who's making it, who's doing the ethical thinking behind it? How do you use it? How, how will it impact our lives? I mean, these are the kids that are going to be the designers and users of that technology in the future. So, it's so important to teach them what it is, how it's impacting our life and helping them make decisions on, either, is it safe to use? Do I want to use it? Or if I were to invent this, how would I make it better?

Ann Gadzikowski (25:55):
Yeah. Well, this is, this is definitely a lifelong learning process. This is not, uh, a single lesson or a unit at school or a single conversation at home.

Diana Graber (26:04):
No. There's so much.

Elizabeth Romanski (26:05):
And it's continually evolving too. I mean, even the idea of the definition of digital citizenship isn't static. And so as new technologies come into play and new, you know, facets of the internet and the digital world come into play, I think that you have to kind of think about what that means and what a digital citizen means in relation to that new tool. So...

Diana Graber (26:27):
Right.

Elizabeth Romanski (26:27):
You know, unfortunately for parents, it's not, it's not leaving your kids are going to be more, um, involved in the digital world. And, and I think from this conversation, it does sound like your advice to parents would be to, obviously be more gentle on themselves this year in regard to screen time for their kids. But then also to encourage the idea of being curious and learning with your kids.

Diana Graber (26:52):
Exactly. And I think also, uh, even though it's hard because people are just so strapped for time right now, but try to find time to do things together. Have them show you what they're doing. Be curious. It's interesting. Some of the stuff on TikTok, I thought it was a dancing thing, you know, and this year there's a lot of activism happening there -- good and bad. So, you know, ask your kids, what are you seeing? Like what's the hot video right now? Why do people like it? And where did you see it? And I like to always try to focus on the positive, but you know, one negative is just a month ago on TikTok, there was a video being shared of a man who committed suicide. He shot himself, and it was a video that kids actually saw. So you need to know if your children are seeing things like that. And the only way to find out is to ask, because by the time it's in the news, it's too late. So super important to be aware of, especially if your kids are younger to find out what they're seeing on the internet,

Elizabeth Romanski (27:41):
Would you say it's a fair statement to point that if you come at it from a point of curiosity, if you learn with your kids, if you participate, then they're actually more willing to share what they're seeing without being asked first, because they feel like it's a safe space. You're not judging them as a parent. Like, would that be fair? Cause I wonder if that would encourage that relationship and communication of what they're doing and what they're seeing.

Diana Graber (28:03):
Definitely. But you can't start this at age 16 or it's not going to work. I mean, again, you need to do this when your kids are younger and they're excited about joining and it's kind of the price of entry. You're like, "Hey, I'm so excited. You're excited about downloading it but guess what we're gonna do it together!" You know? For that small little window, you can establish that rapport. But if you wait to do that when your kid's already been using these apps for a couple of years, they're not gonna all of a sudden be willing to share with you, You know? So it's, again, that's the whole idea of digital on-ramps. You gotta do it every step of the way. And unfortunately it takes time out of your day, but it's really the only constructive way that your child is going to be willing to share with you what they're doing online.

Elizabeth Romanski (28:41):
No I think that's a very important thing. So I think we've learned a lot from this podcast episode, and it's really given parents, hopefully a lot of good tools and resources that they can go to if they're still have some questions or need some tools for themselves as they continue to learn all of these new remote learning tools and social things. So...

Diana Graber (29:01):
And good luck be easy on yourself. It's not easy for anybody right now, but especially not for parents.

Ann Gadzikowski (29:06):
Diana, thank you so much for joining us today, I think we learned a lot about how parents can support their children, especially during these trying times and we're online so much, but this is excellent advice. Thank you.

Diana Graber (29:19):
Oh, you're so welcome. Thank you so much for having me.

Elizabeth Romanski (29:23):
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Raising Curious Learners. Special, thanks to our guest this week, Diana Graber, educator and author of Raising Humans in a Digital World for giving us some tips on how parents can better support their children's use of the internet, and foster their digital citizenship. You can find some of the resources we mentioned in today's episode on her websites, cyberwise.org, or cybercivics.com. I'm Elizabeth Romanski, and my cohost, as always, is Ann Gadzikowski. Our audio engineer and editor for this program is Emily Goldstein. If you liked this episode, make sure to subscribe to us on Apple podcasts, leave us a review and share with your friends. This episode has been copyrighted by Encyclopedia Britannica Incorporated, all rights reserved.